


Steps

by DreamingKate



Category: Glee
Genre: Depression, Drunk Driving, M/M, Paralyzed!Blaine, Talk of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 10:51:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1896288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingKate/pseuds/DreamingKate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Blaine is paralyzed by a drunk driver, the impact is felt by everyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt by Thisloveisours-xo: Can you write something where Blaine is paralyzed from the neck down and how Kurt and him deal with it years later?
> 
> Prompt: Blaine gets run over and loses the ability to walk, with a lot of therapy and hard work, he surprises his fiancé kurt and everybody els at the wedding by walking down the isle

There’s a worn pamphlet crammed in the bottom of Kurt’s messenger bag. It’s done in soft blues and yellows with the picture of an older woman staring dramatically out a window on the front. He’s read it so many times that it’s practically memorized. It talks about how important it is to exercise, how he needs to take time for himself, how talking about his feelings help so much. 

The words don’t really mean much to Kurt. Maybe reading the “Coping with Grief and Loss” pamphlet helped that old lady on the cover but it sure isn’t helping Kurt. Hell, he hadn’t lost anything. It’s a miracle that Blaine is still with them, a miracle that he woke up at all. 

—

It was a drunk driver at four in the afternoon that caused everything. Blaine had been making his way to the subway to get to class when the car jumped the curb and smashed into him. Nothing made sense about it. A few shots in the middle afternoon shouldn’t have caused a broken neck. 

When Blaine woke up days later, Kurt couldn’t imagine anything better. He sobbed as Blaine stared dazedly at him, blinking slowly. He was able to answer the questions, knew his name, and seemed fine cognitively. Maybe for the first time, the world had decided to give Blaine a break. 

“Alright Blaine,” the doctor knelt by the end of the bed and held down his foot. “I need you to push against my hand okay?”

Kurt stared at his foot and actually felt like his heart had stopped when nothing happened. “Honey, you need to push.”

“I’m trying,” Blaine’s voice was strained. 

“It’s fine,” the doctor made a quick note. “We expected a possible spinal cord injury. Just get some rest and after we know what we’re dealing with we’ll treat it the best we can. Now, squeeze my hand.”

Kurt’s heart shattered when his fingers barely twitched. 

“I’m tired,” Blaine’s eyes droop under the heavy influence of the drugs and the doctor gives him a warm smile. Terrified, Kurt took his hand and wished fiercely that Blaine would squeeze back as strongly as he always did. 

The doctors told him not to expect much. Blaine went through several surgeries and was in excruciating pain as they just tried to stabilize the broken bones. It became very obvious that this was much more serious than spinal shock. His spine was fused and the doctors seemed hopeful that with a lot of physical therapy, Blaine might be able to do some things for himself. 

Kurt felt like he was watching a bad movie. This man laying in the hospital bed was not his fiance. The man who struggled to eat and who couldn’t even clean himself was not Blaine. No, Blaine was the guy who hopped on furniture, the guy who danced around the apartment.

This couldn’t be their life. 

—

Three months after the accident, Kurt finally lost it. He was in the apartment for longer than five minutes for the first time since Blaine went to the hospital. Everything in their room was spotless, clearly cleaned by Rachel and Santana for when they got home. 

Slowly, he sat down on their bed and smoothed his hand over the comforter. The night before the accident they had spent the night curled up in bed together. Tears sprung to his eyes at the thought that they might never be able to do that again. He pulled his hand away, breath trembling slightly as he stood. 

Blaine’s iPod was still sitting in the speakers on the dresser. He walked over and gently ran his fingers over the surface before pressing the play button. Soft music started playing through the room and he closed his eyes tightly. Before the accident Blaine had been preparing for his dance midterm and had been extremely nervous. 

If he closed his eyes he could still see Blaine’s frustration as he couldn’t quite get his spin right.

It was like a wave. None of this was fair. They were young, they were healthy, they were in love. This wasn’t supposed to happen. 

With a shout, Kurt ripped the sheets and comforter off of the bed and let them crumple to the floor. He tore the clothes out of the closet, suddenly furious at the sight of Blaine’s running and boxing clothes. He swept his arm across the desk and Blaine’s textbooks crashed to the ground. The entire time the music played softly in the background until he grabbed the speaker and threw it on the floor.

The resulting silence was broken only by Kurt’s heavy breathing. The room felt too suffocating. It was full of too many memories and too many reminders of how things would never be the same. 

Kurt spent three hours in the NYADA dance room, dancing until his feet ached. A few times Cassandra July peeked in and once she corrected his form but she never told him to leave. The room was reserved for NYADA students and he had taken a semester off. No one was going to tell the fiancé of the guy with the broken neck to leave. 

When he went back to the apartment everything was put right back where it belonged. It looked like nothing had ever happened. The bed was neatly made and the clothes were hung up. There was even a new speaker set up on the dresser.

Kurt tried to take deep breaths so he didn’t give in to the urge to smash something else.

—

Blaine had lost a lot of weight. 

The brace looked garish around his neck, trying to keep the bones stabilized so that his spinal cord could try to heal. His face was slim and he stared blankly at the sit-com that was blaring from the television. 

“If he starts on physical therapy soon, could he regain some movement in his arms and legs?” Kurt asked the doctor softly. “I mean…sooner is better.”

“He just had surgery,” the doctor shook his head. “He needs to heal.”

“But there has to be something. Maybe a new scientific trial? I read about one that looked good,” raw desperation made his chest ache. “I mean we could…”

“Shut up!” Blaine suddenly shouted from the bed, making them both jump. “Just shut up! Shut UP!”

“Honey…” Kurt said shakily, scared by the sudden fury flashing in Blaine’s eyes.

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here!” He snapped. “I don’t want to have therapy. I don’t want to have more surgeries. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to be alone. Leave me alone.” 

His breath hitched and Blaine stared up at the ceiling, angry tears flashing in his eyes. 

“I’m just trying to help,” Kurt said softly. “Don’t you want to get better?”

“Be real Kurt, I’m not going to suddenly get better,” his voice trembled. “I can’t feed myself, I can’t use the bathroom by myself, I…I’m in so much pain. Right now I don’t want to think about physical therapy or new treatments. I just want time to wrap my head around the fact that I might not move ever again.”

“You’re actually lucky that you…” the doctor started but fell silent at Blaine’s withering glare. 

“That what? That I broke my neck in the place that I did? That if it had been just one vertebrae higher I might not be able to breathe on my own? Please, if I were any luckier that car would have killed me.”

Tears started streaming down Kurt’s cheeks and he chest clenched painfully as Blaine closed his eyes tightly. 

“Blaine…”

“Just leave me alone for two seconds Kurt. I just want to be alone,” his voice dropped to a whisper. “Just go.”

_Just please…please help him._

—

Blaine came home two days after the set date for their wedding. 

They were supposed to be on their honeymoon, looking through pictures of their wedding. They were supposed to be happy. 

Thankfully, the elevator worked perfectly and their apartment was wheelchair accessible. Kurt had stressed over how to make the apartment as easy for Blaine to get around as possible. Both of their parents had begged for them to go back to Lima but Blaine had refused. At first Kurt had been encouraged, thinking that Blaine was moving on and trying to adapt to his new life. 

It didn’t take long for him to realize that it was because Blaine knew that if he went back he would always be stuck there. It wasn’t a desire to move forward, it was desperation to not be forever the quadriplegic kid living in his hometown. 

“Here,” Kurt maneuvered the electronic wheelchair next to the bed, well practiced in moving it. “Just…”

He carefully moved the sliding board under Blaine’s legs, nervous now that he had to do it without supervision from the therapists, nurses, or doctors. Blaine was silent as he hook his arms under Blaine’s and hoisted him up onto the bed.

It wasn’t his most graceful attempt at a transfer. Blaine was clearly hurting by the time he got him up by the pillows, but he did it. 

“Not bad huh?” He smiled, the expression feeling odd on his face after so long. 

“Nothing like being moved from a bed to another bed,” Blaine grumbled. 

“This isn’t easy on me either,” he whispered, squeezing his hands into fists before letting go. 

“That’s right. Your life ended. You’re trapped in your own body,” Blaine scowled, moving his face away. “You’re…” 

“I dropped out of school for you! I have never left your side,” Kurt shouted back. “I only want you to get better. That is it. And to hear you talk about wanting to die or…don’t you care anymore? Don’t you think about what it’ll be like for me if you were gone?”

“Easier! You won’t have to deal with a crippled fiancé,” Blaine’s mouth set into a firm line. 

“I’m not going to leave you. I love you so much Blaine,” he reached over to cup his cheek. “I want to marry you, for better or worse. This is just our worse. There’s still going to be a better. You have to make that choice though. I’m in this for the long run.”

He leaned down to kiss his fiancé on the forehead and brushed back his messy curls. Blaine’s eyes were wide and searching, staring up at him as his fingers twitched by his sides. 

“I’m tired,” he whispered and Kurt nodded.

“Let me know if you need anything.” 

It should have felt better laying in bed together for the first time in months. Kurt hated that it felt like he was with a stranger. Lying in bed with Blaine was like sleeping with a koala bear. His fiancé would cling to him, winding his arms and legs around him. It used to annoy him but he would do anything to have that back.

“I’ll try,” Blaine whispered next to him and Kurt looked over. “I’ll try.”

Finally, the suffocating blanket of depression lifted slightly and Kurt moved closer, kissing Blaine and laying down to sleep.

—

It took two years for that better to finally come. 

Intensive, excruciating work with a physical therapist gave Blaine back some use of his arms and hands. Although his hands were shaky, he was able to feed and take more care of himself. That independence did wonders for Blaine and the anger and depression lightened until he seemed almost like his old self.

“Let’s get married,” he said softly when they lay in bed together. “Like…on our date but a few years later.”

“You really want to?” Kurt smiled as Blaine’s shaking fingers twisted his ring.

“Unless you’re taking back your yes?” He laughed and Kurt quickly shook his head.

“Of course not. We’re going to have to speed plan then,” Kurt pressed their foreheads together. “But that’s fine. We’re getting married!” 

It was difficult for them while they planned. Kurt was back at school trying to finish his degree and Blaine still went to rigorous physical therapy every day. Cake tastings and finding venues that were wheelchair assessable were harder than they thought. 

Were there any places where Blaine didn’t have to come in through a side door?

Finally, things were perfect. 

He was in his tux, the venue was beautifully decorated, and he was surrounded by his friends and family. First, Burt walked him down the aisle to a soft, slow version of Teenaged Dream.

The soft whir of the electronic wheelchair met his ears and he found himself grinning almost instantly. Blaine looked so handsome in his tux, eyes bright and fixed on Kurt. 

Cooper was at his side, watching carefully as the wheelchair made it halfway down the aisle before it stopped. 

Kurt panicked for a moment, terrified that the chair had run out of power. Then, Cooper leaned down and gently took hold of his elbow.

Slowly, Blaine pushed himself out of the chair and Kurt’s breath caught. He took one shaky step after the other, eyes locked on Kurt’s. Cooper was at his side the entire time as he made his way down the aisle.

When Blaine finally made it to his side, Kurt was shaking with quiet sobs. They were able to stand side by side and face each other for a few seconds before Blaine’s knees began to buckle. 

Cooper quickly pulled over a chair and helped his brother sit before giving Kurt a broad smile.

“Can I have a chair too?” Kurt’s voice wavered as another chair was brought over. He sat across from Blaine so they could look into each other’s eyes.

“Surprise,” Blaine sounded a little breathless.

“You have no idea,” Kurt laughed and took his husband-to-be’s hands. 


	2. Reasons for Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by thisloveisours—xo: Thank you for filling my prompt. It was amazing. :-D. Any chance for a sequel to steps?

Honeymoon:

The honeymoon had been planned with one thing in mind: relaxation.

They had a small cabin off a private beach in Hawaii. There were fresh baskets of fruit delivered every morning and a private chef made them all their meals.

There really were perks to being a Broadway performer. 

Mainly they spent most of the time naked in their gigantic bed facing the ocean. 

Blaine tried not to think about how the entire honeymoon had been planned around him not walking. 

Six Months After The Wedding

He might have been pushing himself a little too far. 

After coming back from the honeymoon Blaine had thrown himself full force into his physical therapy. The wheelchair had always bothered him but now it was unbearable. 

But, the results were slow and most of the time the physical therapy left him in excruciating pain. 

"It’ll be better. Look how far you’ve come," Kurt whispered to him as they lay in bed, tears streaming down his cheeks from the pain. 

"How long is it going to take?" He choked out. 

He was never going to be that energetic kid who danced across the stage. He was never going to jump on the couch or dance with his friends. 

It was just really hard to accept that. 

A Year And A Half After The Wedding:

The whole process of applying for a surrogate felt surreal. It was just filling out some paperwork and doing some interviews (they immediately crossed off anyone who stared or made a comment about the chair).

Then they found Nina and fell in love with her. She was sweet, energetic, and beyond friendly. They were told that the process could take months but after one session she announced that she was pregnant. 

As soon as a due date was set, Blaine felt a low thrum of fear running through him. 

The baby was going to have their first smile, first laugh and first steps and he was going to have to sit on the side and watch Kurt do most everything. 

He didn’t have a choice. He had to do this. 

Every single day from that doctor’s appointment until the day of Jaxon’s birth he was in physical therapy almost nonstop. His body ached and some days it was nearly impossible to get up.

But, on the day of Jaxon’s birth, he was able to stand with the use of a cane and it was all worth it. 

Five-Year Anniversary:

“Daddy catch me!” Jaxon squealed as he launched himself into Blaine’s arms. Laughing, Blaine spun him around and placed a kiss on his temple. “Again, again!”

Kurt rolled his eyes as their son sprinted away. “How are you feeling? Do you need a break?”

With a smile Blaine shook his head. He was aching and his muscles shook slightly from overuse but he couldn’t find it in him to care. At one point he had been in a wheelchair, unable to move or take care of himself. All that suffering and pain left him able to pick up his son and twirl him around. 

It was absolutely worth it. 


End file.
